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"Build it and it will come"

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Post by blossomtea Sun Oct 18, 2015 8:24 am

Hi all,

I have a question for you all and would like some opinions. I have heard the saying of build your reality and that reality will become your reality. I remember reading a story about a woman who wanted to meet her soulmate so in order to align to that reality she started to arrange a table for two, bought herself nice nightdresses to wear as though it was for her love and generally created a 'space' for a man in her life.

So in theory, if we create a space say for example I start to look at flats as to move out from home/ I buy 'clothes' for my prospective partner would it be that eventually from these intentions that I will eventually align to the reality where I find a flat to live, and I find the partner that will fit in the clothes.

I ask this because like many ladies here weight-loss and self-image is pretty important, after a whole year of being on medication that led to weight gain I now want to finally drop the weight and some to get to my ideal body shape and weight. So my thinking is if I purchase clothes a size smaller I will align to that body shape eventually (of course Im not just going to sit around and do NOTHING I gym four times a week and eat healthily by making healthy choices)

Anyway, what are your opinions on this? Has this worked for someone? Hugs and love to everyone Smiley
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Post by Guest Sun Oct 18, 2015 11:37 pm

I've no knowledge on this topic myself, but like Blossom, I'd be curious as to people's thoughts. Smiley

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Post by LittlemissSunshine Mon Oct 19, 2015 3:47 pm

Hi blossomtea :-)

I hope I can help you a bit. I have no experience with weight loss though, but I do use the technique creating your reality before it really is sometimes when I do sports. I pretend to be a prof. Runner when I want to increase my running skills, I learned how to snowboard by doing it in my mind, I learned how to swim this year by pretending I was a swimmer. This stuff actually works. Once you create something in your mind, and you pretend you are actually what you want to become, you start believing in it. A little bit at first, and then your believe grows, as well as your skills. I think that by seeing myself doing it in my mind, I actually train my muscles, they are getting used to these new movements.

Of course it a bit different if you want to change your appearance. (I have tried to grow long hair this year faster than it would normally grow. Got long hair indeed but imo it looked like crap, so I cut it again Wink ) All I can think of is that you need to believe in it. It's more about your believe system than actually buying new clothes. That can also have the effect that you are confronted with something that is not yet there. You can also pretend that you are wearing a size down. See yourself doing things you would do if you would wear a smaller sizE. What would you do if you dropped the weight you wanted to drop? How would you feel? I bet you feel happy about yourself, contentment. Working out might be a bit easier? Maybe you can run faster? Maybe you are stronger? You might see yourself wearing all that clothes that you wanted for so long. The creation can all take place in your mind. Of course if you think buying that outfit would work for you, you can do it. If it makes you feel like you already have what you want. I think the clue of creating is believing in it, and the feeling of having it already. If you have something you feel happy. Therefore it's important to feel good about it.

I can tell you that I ran PR's when I was really focus and pretended I was a runner. Now that I am less focused on running, my results became less and less as well. Not that I mind, but it's important to focus on where you want to be. I hope this helped a bit. Sorry I can't tell you from my own experience about weight loss, but I do think the way it works is the same ☺️
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Post by kazoo Mon Oct 19, 2015 4:39 pm

I think buying clothes you can't wear now just kind of puts feeling good off until some point in the future when you can fit into those clothes.  And the thing that's gonna help the process easier is feeling the way you would if you were your ideal size and shape now instead that being something that will come when you lose some weight.

My initial thought isn't to buy clothes in the size you desire to be, but rather to make sure that you feel good in the clothes you wear NOW.  I don't know of this applies to you but sometimes when someone is larger than they want to be they kinda hide in large shapeless clothes.  It's hard to feel good and confident wearing clothes like that!  Try to dress in things that flatter your current shape and size!  (If you need some help figuring out what might be flattering I'm sure a thread in the Boudoir can be a place we can help!)

I would also guess if someone isn't feeling super confident you might not for instance pay attention to your hair and nails etc. as much as you used to either.  If that's the case, make sure you pamper yourself NOW to start feeling better and more confident NOW!

I think you get the point.  If you apply that along with Sunshine's suggestions you'll be there in no time!
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Post by Night Eyes Tue Oct 20, 2015 2:59 am

I guess its down to what your perspective is, if you buy clothes in the size you want to be, is that going to motivate you, or make you feel under pressure to get to that size.

I would agree with Kazoo and buy things that make you look and feel great now, do whatever it is that makes you feel fabulous and confident and the rest should line up and take care of itself.

Remember you're beautiful no matter what Smiley
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Post by LittlemissSunshine Tue Oct 20, 2015 9:33 am

Live in the NOW is actually what I meant saying with many words thanks kazoo Wink
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Post by Bookworm Tue Oct 20, 2015 6:07 pm

I'm not that great at visualising but if I keep trying to picture myself driving with the P plate it'll work?
I'm booking my driving test today for December!!!

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Post by blossomtea Sat Oct 24, 2015 7:44 pm

Thank you everyone for your insightful posts, I have been pondering this topic for a long while and though I featured it mostly around fitness I also thought about it in the context of getting a new relationship and job. HOWEVER, it has made me realise that buying clothes a size smaller will not motivate me to lose weight but rather keep me feeling a bit crappy that it doesn't fit yet.

I understand this idea of waiting could just lead into a state of perpetual waiting. For me I have always been a 'big' girl not obese or anything but with a little extra here and there which never gave me enough confidence. Lately ive started to go gym 4x a week and I'm so worried I will not lose weight. Im putting lots of intentions out there to eat healthily like I do 6/7 days but one day I will eat something definitely not great for me and I feel just horrified with myself.

I used to have incredible discipline when I last started going gym and eating well just this time round not so much so which is just showing me i'm not int hat mindframe anymore and all I want is to get back there so for once I can drop all this unecessary weight.

Well any additional tips I will massively appreciate Smiley
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Post by The Simplifier Sun Oct 25, 2015 1:22 am

Definitely agree with kazoo in that you can feel good now and that will shift your point of attraction. Take care of yourself like the you who is your ideal size would take care of yourself.

Also what Night said... i think buying clothes is good if you feel good and excited about you being that size soon. However, if you think about the clothing you bought and keep noticing that you can't fit into them yet and are down on yourself for it, them it will not help but rather compel you to remain at a weight you are not feeling good about.

In my opinion, hold off on buying the vlothes. I bought lingerie while attracting my bf. I felt so good about it and excited about it. I shopped around the store knowing someone special was going to be seeing it. It is dependent on your current state. If you're hard on yourself for one bad eating choice, then I don't think buying clothes that you know don't fit you right now would make it easier right now. I mean, if you decide to consistently feel good about it from now on, then go for it and enjoy the shopping! And if you can hang it on your chair or in your closet and feel good every time you see it because you see yourself fitting nicely into it, then do it!

These things fall into place as you practice the state of it already being done. Repeat throughout the day, "I love my body". And you can choose to love your body. It is a wonderful thing and serves you well. Then move on to "it feels so good to be this size", and think or say those words from the perspective of a size or two smaller than now, or at your preferred size. Repeat over and over until then go from feeling unnatural, to feeling nothing to feeling good. Then feeling amazing.

Best to you, blossom!
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Post by Night Eyes Sun Oct 25, 2015 5:32 am

When i put on weight a couple of years ago, i did all the healthy eating, exercise everything you get told to do to lose those few extra pounds, but nothing worked, because i was miserable, i just didnt want to do it, i wanted to eat what i liked and wear what i liked.

The time i lost weight was when i actually stopped caring about my size, and just loved me for me regardless of my shape and size, i just stopped weighing myself and focusing on the 'weight' itself and just saw myself as just fine, thats when it started happening for me, and i quickly went down to the ideal weight i wanted to be.

i dont know if this is of any help, but all i did looking back was stop focusing on whatever made me feel negative, which for me personally was the fact i had to diet or exercise, because to me they represented something negative, you're doing this because you're fat.... that was my mindset, so i simply stopped seeing myself as overweight.
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Post by blossomtea Sun Oct 25, 2015 8:56 am

Thank you for all the comments, I think for the next couple of weeks I will aim to ignore my body and enjoy gym for what it is. I will also hold off buying new clothes and looking at my body in the mirror/ weighing myself. I really think going back to taking care of myself and treating myself once in a while is probably going to be the best thing to propel me forward Smiley

Self-love is so hard!!! But thank you everyone for all the good advice Smiley

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Post by LittlemissSunshine Sun Oct 25, 2015 10:33 am

Blossomtea I do have one more little tip, because if I read your reply I see lot's of can'ts and not so many can's. Stop worrying you aren't losing weight or aren't do the right thins, start enjoying the work outs, getting in better shape. Don't worry about not eating right 24/7. Did you know that it doesn't really matter if you have cravings and you eat more one day once in a while? If you have a well balanced diet, you won't add pounds in one day. There is also something called cheat day, one day a week, you don't have to deny yourself to the nice things you want. those days usually keep you in balance. Things are less hard to resist if you can do/ eat them once in a while! So it's important to get rid of those limiting beliefs when it comes losing that weight. Just as long as you focus on where you want to be. Andddd one last very practical tip, if you want to lose pounds start lifting weights
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Post by blossomtea Sun Oct 25, 2015 3:52 pm

Thank LittlemissSunshine for your honesty Smiley I do see what you mean. I used to really enjoy working out, just in the slumps doubting myself recently. I'm probably focusing too hard on losing weight to make myself feel better when it should be the other way round. Actually you are very right about the cheat day thing, I used to do that when I last dropped about 10kg I think this time I'm worrying too much.

Oh yeah and I do lift weights Wink I wanna have a powerful and strong lithe body. Weights are a godsend!
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