fighting with my own thoughts...

Hello all..

I promised to write my success story but ironically writing something that is depressing and feel bad !!im sorry for writing it...

Ok aftrr 2 years of separation.. i am now back with my husband from feb..around 7 months... good time and i really have daily successes ..nothing to worry about...

But my brain doesnt let me live in peace... my fears again poping up....
Im actually getting negative ..i just cant digest good things happening to me too fast...
I just fear n fear...so i manifested some fights like old ones with my mil specially...i have forgiven her and stopped blaming her for my lost new born..but again i started blaming her for my loss (in my mind)...and find myself unable to forgive her...i am getting judgemental again...i just cant get ignore my feelings..she is still rude to me n i cant forgive her...she says she wont let me live with my husband ....how to ignore this when i know she did it in the past practically....so i fear...
I fear about my fears......just cant handle

All such stupid stuff is pulling me back....I dont know how to deal with my thoughts!!!!!

ANY SUGGESTIONS????

Uhhh, that's my story. That's why I am alone. So we both need help

Don't beat yourself up over it Bunny, it sounds like you've been through quite a lot, and sometimes when we get to a good place where we're not focused on just 'getting through', and we breathe and relax.... we get the fallout

just give yourself some love and care, try to do what relaxes you, and focus on the good

Tayra wrote:Uhhh, that's my story. That's why I am alone. So we both need help

Hello tayra...
Sorry to hear that..but its the story of many girls...
Where they are given two choices either stay like that or live alone!!
BUT HOLD ON!!!!!
me or any of them are not helpless...atleast not me!!! I hve learnt a lot about loa and thoughts...i must help myself...but sometimes its difficult ...so i wrote over here because there are like minded people and can push me towards my goal..

Sometimes i really feel like i hv forgotten all my wisdom!!!
Night eyes have said it beautifully i just need to focus on good..

Night Eyes wrote:Don't beat yourself up over it Bunny, it sounds like you've been through quite a lot, and sometimes when we get to a good place where we're not focused on just 'getting through', and we breathe and relax.... we get the fallout

just give yourself some love and care, try to do what relaxes you, and focus on the good

Thanks night eyes ...you are right i should focus on good..but i am just enable to ignore her and her words when she is with me 12 hours a day!! Its too much..

Bunny i do apologise as i dont know whats gone on for you, but you talk a lot about forgiveness

did you forgive for your sake? or for her sake?

Hi bunny. First of all, don't apologize for coming here to ask for help.  That's not a problem at all!  We are here to help each other!

If I remember your story your mother in law played a role in your separation from your husband?  I think this happens a lot.  Even if we manage to make some progress some of the old baggage tends to still come along with us.  So you're definitely not alone in having those old issues creep back in.

I know when you have tension with someone it's easy to just write them off as a bad person with no redeemable qualities.  But I think some understanding really helps.  Can you put yourself in her shoes to see why she maybe acts the way she has?  Can you think of difficulties in her past that she may have had to overcome?  If you can see her as someone who is not just here to make your life difficult but as a woman with her own hardships, insecurities and fears it might be easier to extend some compassion and caring and help you not take the things she's doing so personally.  That's usually a good way of changing an interpersonal dynamic.  Also, you know how it works.  If you only focus on her negative qualities you'll get more of those things.  Take a moment to reflect on her positive traits. (There has to be SOMETHING!!)

I am so incredibly sorry for your loss.  Does it help to remember that she also lost a precious grand-baby?  And that as a mother herself her heart has to have been shattered for her son's suffering?  Maybe she doesn't express all of that pain in a way you can relate to and that is where the disconnect is?  Just some thoughts.  I know if you are mindful of the whole situation it will all come to you and you'll find that peace and harmony you are seeking.

Hi night i think you dont know my story..

Its ok..

I forgave her for my sake ..to get relief ...to move forward ...n i got success...i believe in power of forgiveness ..but this time ...i mean i dont know how to forgiv her daily for her bitter words n wrong actions...???
Im becomoing judgmental but her actions have direct impact on me....!!!problem is my own mind !!!it always reject my thought of forgiving her daily!!!!

Hi kazoo....

Thanks for your reply ..you beautifully understood and explained the situation...

Yes she is the main culprit practically..she wanted her son to remarry someone of her choice during my separation...but it couldnt happen n thats why she is like this...my husband told me this!!

My problen is how to ignore her actions on daily bases.. i need to focus on her good characters...too hard to find one...
But as you suggested i will try to have compassion for her...i will try everything you people would suggest...
I try to remove my focus...

I will keep you updated...

Hi all

Hope you all are fit n fine..

Update.. i was upset because of above said reason and then i asked universe for help..then i dont know how but my husband was telling me something related to budha...amazing ...

And i was so relieved...

Then i again think compassionately anout my mil..a helpless mother..i again forgave her and took my powers back..

Wow..amazing...everything is good now...
And about my thoughts..these are still there but i try to replace them with positive thoughts...

So its a continuous process i think...

Hi bunny, happy that everything is good. You know it can be a back and forth sometimes with our feelings, but if you let it happen and not fear the fear, then it passes quickly.

Hello armine..

Yes..its really a back nand forth..
Thanks dear for always being there and replying...

Everything is great..sometimes its too good to digest..lol

bunny wrote:
Thanks dear for always being there and replying...

 
lol
Hi Bunny. I wish I could reply too* but it was wholly on "Forgiveness" and I just didn't like to repeat myself. Yet at least let it be known that merely seeing your name on these boards, my friend, delights my heart, probably more than you'd imagine, and that I sincerely wish I could reply to every word you write.

_____________________

Here follows a couple of commands (or affirmations) I was preparing for our Leeanne (but obviously it wasn't time for her to break free yet). So just repeat either or both everyday a few times before you fall asleep or early once you wake up in the morning, and needless to say be mindful to the meaning and better yet, feel it:  

All that has offended me, I forgive. Within and without, I forgive. Things past, things present, things future, I forgive. I forgive everything and everybody who can possibly need forgiveness in my past and present. I forgive positively everyone. I am free, and they are free, too. All things are cleared up between us, now and forever. We both go free to prosper. 

God in you forgives and releases me, now and forever. God in me forgives and releases you, now and forever. There is no competition in God, and there is no competition between us. God frees me from all attachment toward or from people, places, or things of the past or present. God is my releasing power, and I now release all anxiety, doubt, worry, fear to the power within me and I am filled with love, peace and joy.

_____________________

Edit: Not to belittle Armine's kindness though; she's probably the kindest and most compassionate on this forum).

Hello lotus ..

Thanks for your kind and loving words...

I just dont have words to express my thanks for the support you ALL  are giving me..
And how much support i hv got from Armine n lotus is just cant be expressed in words..these two people have major effect on my life..i really mean it..
these two people have literally pushed me from darkest place to love n light..and top of it their loving words are just like a bonus...

Thanks lotus for affirmations..sometimes we know how things work but forgets at a point..same is happening to me..and you as usual gives me these tips on correct time..
Thanks again lotus ..im gonna apply it from this very moment...

It is this gratitude and humbleness in your heart, Dr. Bunny, that not only makes you so special in the eyes of the mortals and gods, but also opens every door before you, renders every miracle possible, and makes your journey more graceful, peaceful and blissful. Thank you, my friend. I was blessed by your presence in my life, and as I said before, I/we "personally" did nothing—and I mean it. It was "you"—ready and willing to get out of the dark and into the light. And it was your pure and humble heart guiding you and manifesting all those people who would "seemingly" help and all those events that would accordingly follow.

Thank you my friend for your very kind words; and you please just keep this beautiful person you are. This is your secret and your treasure. ♥

Thanks lotus for your kind words ...

Lotus wrote:

All that has offended me, I forgive. Within and without, I forgive. Things past, things present, things future, I forgive. I forgive everything and everybody who can possibly need forgiveness in my past and present. I forgive positively everyone. I am free, and they are free, too. All things are cleared up between us, now and forever. We both go free to prosper. 

God in you forgives and releases me, now and forever. God in me forgives and releases you, now and forever. There is no competition in God, and there is no competition between us. God frees me from all attachment toward or from people, places, or things of the past or present. God is my releasing power, and I now release all anxiety, doubt, worry, fear to the power within me and I am filled with love, peace and joy.

I am going to use these myself! I Manifested this today because it was needed

Thank you Lotus and Bunny for your generosity and consideration. Bunny, it is truly the student who allows God's work to flow through her. If you were not receptive and ready and wonderfully persistent with your intentions, there is no way anyone could have helped you accomplish all you already have and do and will accomplish.

This is the beauty of being true to ourselves. Things fall into place beautifully as we need them and welcome them.

Hello armine ..

Thanks dear for your beautiful loving words...

How are you going, Bunny? We haven't heard from you for a while.

SelinaM wrote:How are you going, Bunny? We haven't heard from you for a while.

Hi selina..

Thanks dear for reading and taking interest..
It feels great when people on this forum write like this ..thanks selina..

And about me..im doing good ..more than good..
In fact im gonna write my success story (entirely different one) soon..im in its process right now...i know everything is just good...

But again im dealing with a "fear "..but im trying my best ..its like on and off...

Will keep you updated..

Really glad to hear you're doing well Bunny, cant wait to read your success story

i know its hard but ignore your fear, everything you want is on the other side of it x x

bunny wrote:

SelinaM wrote:How are you going, Bunny? We haven't heard from you for a while.

Hi selina..

Thanks dear for reading and taking interest..
It feels great when people on this forum write like this ..thanks selina..  

And about me..im doing good ..more than good..
In fact im gonna write my success story (entirely different one) soon..im in its process right now...i know everything is just good...

But again im dealing with a "fear "..but im trying my best ..its like on and off...

Will keep you updated..

Glad to hear you're doing great and have a success story to share soon! We haven't really talked much but I've been following your thread and look forward to getting to know you better.

I have lots of fear myself, I love the affirmations Lotus posted earlier. Also, I'm not sure if this will help you, but this has helped me many times:



In addition to this I like to remind myself that all the fears are just my own mind, that if we didn't think the fear wouldn't be there.

Hi selina...

Sorry for the late reply..

Im heartly thankful to you for the suggestions you are giving me..this clip is awesome...really nice to see and hear...thanks a lot..
And glad to know you are reading my posts...it feels good to read your words selina...

Every1 faces some fear from inside...if these are too high ,surely they come true...i think that knowing loa sometimes seems dangerous as we now know fears actually can manifest ..lol

Yes im dealing with these..but i am following every suggestion loa people are giving...

I would love to read more inputs...