"Attachment" and "Letting Go"

rodan wrote:  
Think of these statements as a " model "  of mine.  I really don't lean on IC being " God " in the traditional sense, at least not consciously. Subconsciously, yes, I could have this belief.

Exactly. It's just another model, Rodan. Besides, personally I'm NOT against God or the belief in God in the most traditional way. This belief can be helpful to some point, and with some people. At least, this belief is much better and healthier and even more promising and fruitful than believing in one's own separate self, in this illusory "I" or persona or ego, as God. To spend my life in genuine love and devotion to the Lord, be he Jesus or Krishna or whoever, is definitely so much better than thinking for one day that I, this flesh and blood, am God. This is sadly the mistake that some make when they first learn about this stuff.


Anyway there is more, a lot more to this topic Rodan, as you sure know, than here very briefly stated so far. But I really don't want to ruin this beautiful thread or take it too far off topic. So let's end this dialog, just for now, just here, with what brought this all up--the illusory nature of everything, including one's own self. By this I don't mean that a bullet can't kill me, for example, or that a "punch" won't hurt. By this I simply mean that nothing is as it appears. All we know about the world outside is but our senses' data or information inside. We therefore have absolutely no way whatsoever to find out what the world really looks like, the world in itself, if there is any at all. Moreover, I claim, there is none at all. Why create a world if you can simply dream it? In fact, the world either way is a "mental projection," so it's but a dream or a dream-like. We get hurt by the punch, the rock or the bullet not because any of that is real, but because we are "in" the dream ourselves, part of the dream, and as unreal.


Just my view and model, needless to say; the best I've found so far, and the one perfectly compatible with sources both as ancient as the Vedas and as modern as quantum physics or the holographic universe theory. Thanks my friend for this very interesting and short dialog and I sincerely hope we can resume it sometime soon. I still have one comment here on topic, so till we meet.

If I may put my 2cents about this subject... Take all the bad things on your desire and there on a board, hanging over a cliff, and you are on the otherside of the board, on the cliff. You are still on the board attached to all these things and not free of them. Well if you just step off, you'll have let them go. But part of you thinks, if I step off I loose it all, because you have attached all those things to your desire. But they are not, so just step off the board already

welcome to the forum Mike

Hi Mike!! Welcome aboard! I don't know how to offer drinks, but order what you like and consider it done! I think you'll like it here

Thanks for the welcome, guys. I think I'll enjoy it here.

Ahh the infamous LOA terms "Attachment and Letting Go" and how much I love them.

To simplify things, you don't have to do or worry about either of them for manifesting your desires. I wrote something about Letting Go on PLOA and I'll just share it here.

First, letting go is exactly what it means - letting go! You let go of something/someone you DON'T want anymore; you give up on it. So why is it that it's commonly heard in success stories (i.e. I got my life together, worked out, ate more fried chicken, Let Go, and then my ex came back!)? Truth is, more than half the time people don't even know what it was they did. So they convince themselves that they must've "Let Go" because it's what all the awesome LOA "guru's" out there teach.

How many times have you let go of an ex, for example, and then they never came back? They never came back because you fully let go of them and no longer wanted them. Now, how many times DID an ex come back when you "let go", as in when you weren't thinking about them, forgot about them, etc. If it's the latter, then you did "let go" of something, and it wasn't your desire. It was everything holding you back from your desire, i.e. your obsession.

Obsessions = Lack of desire = Not having it. In other words, you're obsessed with NOT having them, if that makes sense.

Now, how about when your ex came back because "you no longer wanted" them, was that because you let go? That's where most people get confused and then convince themselves it was because they "Let Go".

You may have not thought or wanted them anymore on a conscious level, but you still did on a subconscious level. So when you "weren't thinking about it" and they magically appeared, it's because you actually WERE thinking about them on a subconscious level. Remember, your subconscious mind is always at work.

Law of Attraction = Like Attracts Like. You always, ALWAYS get what you FOCUS on. That's why it's good to learn about your subconscious mind and how it works.

MA so if we always get what we focus on, how can you get something when you've let it go? When you let go, you also let go of the focus on something. To me letting go means nothing more than releasing all the negative feelings towards something, so there is no resistance towards the desire anymore. When I found love I was completely focused on it. I had never let the wanting it go, and the desire manifested when I got into the state of knowing. I just knew it was there and it was....
I also have an ex (don't we all ..

Oh no! What happened to all my text?!

You generally won't get something you have let go of though, that's kind of the whole point? If you let go of the focus on negative fears then you won't get circumstances or events that bring them about. If you hold on to the focus of your desire then that is why you found love because you were focused on love and not the lack.

For months I focused persistently on being with a guy but it was all the wrong things manifesting. He was still showing up in my life, I would run into him or people would contact me about him and recently he even text me, but it wasn't what I wanted overall so yes I was focused on him hence why he was still present in my life but my focus wasn't where it should be, it was stuff I feared that happened (although I did get some stuff I desired from him too). There was a different guy before him who I lost interest in and just completely let go of because I had zero interest, couldn't care less about what he is doing etc....and I haven't heard from him once nor has he popped up in my life since.

There is nothing wrong in my view with wanting or desiring someone but I do agree with the need to let go of the crap that holds you back from getting it. I think that's what MA is trying to say.

LittlemissSunshine wrote:MA so if we always get what we focus on, how can you get something when you've let it go? When you let go, you also let go of the focus on something. To me letting go means nothing more than releasing all the negative feelings towards something, so there is no resistance towards the desire anymore. When I found love I was completely focused on it. I had never let the wanting it go, and the desire manifested when I got into the state of knowing. I just knew it was there and it was....
I also have an ex (don't we all ..

I avoid using the term letting go, because it causes more confusion than anything. As a matter of fact, all of those terms (Resistance, Letting go, Attachment, etc) cause you more confusion and fills your mind with unnecessary clutter.

But to answer your question - you can't get something that you let go of. Like I already mentioned in my post, when you "let go" of something (lets use the ex as an example) and then all of a sudden that ex comes "out of the blue" or "when you weren't thinking about them", it's not because you let go of them. They came back because you still desired them in some way or another, but you weren't thinking about it on a conscious level. However, you were still thinking about them on a subconscious level. And they came back because you stopped focusing on all the things holding you back i.e. obsession on NOT having them, desperation, etc.

I honestly don't find the concepts, as they are meant to be, confusing at all.  I think it's all of the people who try to explain it who muddy the waters!

I think most people agree that if you have a desire for something, you need to clear the clutter in your head (consciously or subconsciously) that makes you doubt you'll it.  

Again, it seems that the real issue is the terminology, not the concept itself. "You stopped focusing on all the things holding you back i.e. obsession on NOT having them, desperation, etc."  That's the same thing as "letting go"!

Yes, that last point by MA is especially true.  The guy (A) who I have let go of completely and isn't in my life at all, prior to that happening I was really into him, would cry and pine for him, but he was ignoring me and all the usual stuff when you want someone back.  The new guy (B) then came along causing me to completely lose interest in (A) and I kid you not (A) came back to me telling me all the things I wanted to hear and hoped to hear when I was pining over him...but because I was into someone else I stopped focusing on the fear and obsession of not having (A).  When you really analyse your mind and your life experiences you will get all the answers you need

kazoo wrote:I honestly don't find the concepts, as they are meant to be, confusing at all.  I think it's all of the people who try to explain it who muddy the waters!

When I first landed on PLOA a few people told me to "let go" and I just immediately took it as "they must mean I need to let go of what I want but how can I stop wanting what I want" so it just made me even more confused. I think it's prudent to elaborate so people know that they don't need to stop desiring, they just need to, as you say, "clear the clutter in their head that makes them doubt they will get it". that's really all MA is saying, just in a lot more detail.

The whole idea of "letting go" isn't just something that gets discussed in terms of LoA.  (The Frozen mega-hit is proof of this!)  I've seen the concept discussed all over the place.  I've always taken it to mean to let go of the baggage.  That's all.

Maybe the whole whole "he came back when I forgot about him" aspect of ex-back stories is what confuses things.  But I think that is part of the nature of that other forum, (and the fact that that forum is filled with mostly newbies who really have no interest in LoA except as a way of getting an ex back trying to articulate the ideas to other newbies...and even tho it's supposed to be a LoA forum there's a not of non-LoA advice mixed in there too.) not a flaw with the teachings.

And in those "he came back when I forgot about him" stories, they actually did "let go" and that's what got the result.  For some people actually making a decision to "give up"  (at least consciously) is what it took to let go of the baggage.  That's all.  

The terminology that is used doesn't matter to me.  Different people respond to different terminology, so that's fine.  But I do have to take issue with the people who say that the entire concept doesn't matter.  Because it seems that those people actually agree with the concept, but they just have a different way of describing it or advocate a different path of getting there.

This is interesting: http://www.applythelawofattraction.com/neville-goddard-letting/

Thanks for that, President - I've always loved his idea of 'assuming the state of the wish fulfilled' and how if you believe truly in your visualization you will automatically let go. Really interesting

Good post, MA

The only problem I have with the idea of "let go" is the context most people use it with.
It has become a misleading term. It is not precise.

Most people who come to learn LoA, aren't coming from mentally stable background.

Just as Lotus puts it, pay more attention to the intentions than behavior - This is not the kinda of knowledge and understanding an LoA rookie has.

Also, in my opinion, "Let go" has more of a negative connotation as compared to "focus".

When we try to use the words that can have multiple different meanings subjective to the context they are being used, it becomes a lot harder for people to understand.

Another aspect is that "Letting go" makes things look more complicated than they really are.

Instead of saying "Let go of what you don't want" it is far more efficient, workable and logical to just say "focus on what you want".

Leaves no room for confusion.

Using the terms "Let go" leaves one astray as to what to do exactly.
The questions regarding "letting go" cannot be answered with precision.

Think about this question - "If I let go, will my ex come back?", "do I have to let go if I want to get my ex back?"
And all of a sudden, debates start holdong roots and cat fight begins. ;D

Pros: Fulfils inherant human need of creating drama.
Cons: Doesn't clarify anything,

Reframe it like this - "If I want to get my ex back, do I have to FOCUS on getting ex back?" or "Do I need to focus on getting an ex back if I want to get them back?"

And all of a sudden, all these questions can be answered with a simple "yes".

Pros: Simple, easy understand, leaves no room for confusion.
Cons: Doesn't leave you enough room to create drama.

I hate to make it personal but I'm going to use Lisa from the other forum as an example. Does anyone think telling someone like her to focus on what she wants is helpful? She can't focus on what she wants in a positive way at all.

She's an extreme example but she's hardly alone. She may be able to focus positively for a short while but then the focus turns negative. She winds up in a situation where the intention of focusing on what she wants only serves to intensify the negative later. Any focus at all winds up just intensifying the missing, the longing and the desperation. That needs to be addressed.

I have no problem with advising someone to focus on what they want. But I think it's only part of the equation for many people especially when it comes to emotionally charged desires. Guiding them to address the other parts of the equation as well will only speed up results and lead to their general wellbeing. And then you have to consider if you leave the underlying issues to remain they only come back later anyway, so why not resolve them?


In my personal experience I've gotten the most wonderful things when I really just focused on my own general wellbeing and not on specifics. Anyway, as always I have no problem with people taking other paths. I just want it to be recognized (again) that we are all different and what works for one person isn't going to work for everyone.

I'm gonna get a little personal again.  Let's look at Superman's game.  It was designed to be a fun way to focus positively on what you want for 30 days.  Sounds good from a LoA perspective, right?

But the success rate wasn't all that great, was it?  That's not a slam on him, I applaud his willingness to come up with new ideas and his ability to inspire.  The problem was that the vast majority of the participants simply were not in the right mindset to focus on what they want consistently.  The rules were pretty simple, and I don't think he ever discusses anything about letting go or attachments either.  So where did he go wrong and what would you advise the folks who gave it their best effort, tried their hardest to focus positively on what they wanted and STILL ended up coming up short? Those people are really not the exception. They make up most of the people who go to that forum.

And then there was the d-bag who also denied that you had to do anything other than his nightly method.  Which is basically devoting time to focusing on what you want before going to sleep.  He developed quite a following but I don't really remember a lot of success stories there either.

Again, I have no problem with the nightly method itself.  I'm not saying it doesn't work.  I think it's great.  There are some success stories for sure.  But there are probably a lot more people who tried it and still didn't succeed.  So there obviously is something missing there.  My other issue was in that it was presented as the one single guaranteed path to success all by itself.  When that obviously isn't the case. Not everyone who followed it achieved success and not everyone who achieved success got there that way.

I like to kind of immerse myself and learn as much as I can and then pull all kinds of stuff to customize and personalize my own path.  There is too much good out there to be rigid and not open to all of it.

Kazoo I agree completely with your idea of immersion and making your own path through learning. People must realize there is so much out there to learn and no 'guru' is going to have all the answers for you and create a plan that will work wonders. You have to customize it to your life and how it will work for you best.

I agree with taking advice or pointers but saying there 'is only one way to do LOA and that's with my method' is wrong, like how you say has happened in the other forum. It's enforcing the idea that people are powerless in themselves and need outside help. I've always tried to tell people to find strength in themselves, use your intuition and read, read, read! You should never stop learning!

I think this forum is great because there is mutual respect and discussion of topics without arguments over who is right or wrong, just sharing of ideas and information, support and positivity

The only thing to release is the negative emotions we have habitually attached to the desire. We don't release the desire itself.

For example, you want "a thing". You acknowledge you don't have "the thing" in your experience. You feel crappy about it. Now, any time you think about "the thing" you want, you feel crappy. You've equated "the thing" with the lack of "the thing".

So, now that you are aware of this little nasty habit, you consciously choose to think about "the thing" while feeling good. That's pretty much the only change necessary to manifest change in emotional and physical experience. The question is... now that we know this, will we do this?

In reference to what some of you wrote about the affirmations or nightly method or any "method" being not enough if we don't let go.... the thing is, letting go happens naturally when we are practicing these exercises as they are meant to be practiced. The feeling place of having it diminishes the need to let go because as soon as it feels natural through consistent, authentic repetition, there is nothing to let go of and it is done.

Thanks Armine.  The thing that I have observed is that people can completely be aware of why they are having trouble on a conscious level but their subconscious still prevents them from choosing to think about "the thing" while feeling good or from feeling good at all.

And I've also observed a lot of people do the practices and who do not "let go" simply by repeating the practice itself.  They report "RS just made me miss him more" or "after a while it felt like a chore" so they stop.  I know that's not "as they are meant to be practiced" but those are real life experiences.

That's why I bring these things up.  I'm not trying to be difficult or anything.  I completely understand the way it's all supposed to work, and how it can work for some.  But the experiences I've seen over at the other forum honestly need to be addressed.

I've also seen a lot of people make some progress toward their goal and then have it all slip away because they haven't made any real meaningful changes to themselves beyond a surface level.  All of the things that prevented them from having it in the first place just come back and re-create that same situation. 

The success stories follow certain formulas.  Of course there are the ones that involve 100% faith and focusing.  But that's not really the more common path.  More often the success stories are along the lines of "I focused on myself", detail positive changes they made etc. and happen when they stop consciously focusing on the goal all together. And when they stop that focus on the goal and turn the focus elsewhere, they are also dropping (or letting go of) the obsession, desperation, etc. etc. etc.

Well what I wrote before all my text went missing, even though I know 100% that my ex still loves me. He never came back.

Not even after the whole process of the term not to be used as " letting go" . Now I don't want him back btw, I moved on, we are still friends today, but after the whole process what I went through I was convinced that he would come back at one point even if I wouldn't care anymore. Didn't happen. I have no resistance, am the happiest camper alive, had other exes that did come back. So how to explain that?

Kazoo, I wrote out a huge reply and posted it and now it's gone. I'm not sure why this keeps happening. I actually posted it!! I'm going to hope it appears magically before I try to rewrite it all

Sunshine, you can PM me if you'd like to. I'm not sure if this is something you're already past, but you did mention it so it's still on your mind. Try asking yourself (again if you already have before) why it is that you wanted him back. Now that some time has passed, you may have easier access to those answers and it will help you in some shape or form in your life.

I love Alan Watts' explanation of letting go. And personally, I don't see anything wrong with the term; I like Mallica's idea that you just have to surrender totally, that the universe never forgets your desire once you've made the intention.

If I had managed to totally let go myself, I wouldn't have ruined my own ex-back story; but there was just too much negativity, and now he's lost (serious girlfriend). It's a little maddening, as before I lost my balance he was back, in front of my eyes, gazing into them in fact, gazing until I had butterflies --

But I was still attached and the moment I seemed to have him - it was too strong. And I sabotaged m chances with him.

Now I know he'll marry this other girl, she's pretty incredible. I know it in my bones. But I do still love him and will always keep him in my heart.... if I could have been in this state of let-go before, instead of now [now that I'm forced into it!], I would hav been fine.



So what Watts says...you really have to *get* with death, the fact that everything is always falling apart....I think it's really true. And this whole focusing on the desire thing, where there is negative baggage it can never truly work.