Procrastination and Laziness

Just dropping by to say thank you to Lotus for another set of wonderful posts and to apologize to everyone and anyone that my responses have been lagging these days. My in laws are visiting from Texas and I have been much more occupied.



Also, I am very happy to see Posay back and posting more

thanks luney.

A burning desire and letting go don't necessarily have to be a paradox, from what I see, since we're not necessarily letting go of the object of desire, but of the desperation or impatience for the object of desire to manifest. We can hold it in our mind's eye and appreciate it any time.

I think it also depends on how one defines desire. Is it the feeling of desire (which is tied to lack)? Or is it the actual object/experience that we are wanting to manifest?

Just a couple thoughts. Thanks to all for the insight.

Hi Armine. Always a pleasure to hear from you; thanks for your thoughts. Yes I agree with you, we don't let go of the object of desire. Letting go, however, undermines the very arising of the desire let alone this desire being "burning." (By "desire" we of course mean the "feeling," the "wanting," not the "object" desired. How can an object be burning?) First of all a "negative" thought or feeling must emerge in the mind, which in turn becomes agitated, launches more thoughts and actions and thus starts a vicious circle of endless desires. So it's because of this primary negativity that our desires arise in the first place—to either remove what we deem painful/bad or bring about what we think pleasant/good. Negativity, mental or emotional, is therefore the "fuel" of desire. Desire both comes from and feeds on negativity. In a state of genuine and total "acceptance," in contrast, desires simply cannot arise. That is, desires arise only when there is resistance. "Desiring" is itself the expression and manifestation of resistance, and thus every desire is an exercise of resistance. That's why in order to fulfill a desire, paradoxically, we simply have to let go.

So having let go of "desperation" or "impatience" (going by your own definition), we still can't "let go" and maintain a "burning desire" at the same time. Why? Because the more you release the resistance and let go of the negative emotion involved (be it desperation, impatience, doubt, fear, sadness, whatever), the less negative you feel and, as such, the more you inevitably dry up the desire's fuel and put out its fire. You can barely have a desire, let alone "burning" desire, if you're already satisfied and content. (Take for example all those once "dying" for their ex's, deeply sad and sorry, and how they later, as their sadness wore off, just grew less "desirous" and finally became altogether indifferent.) It's precisely because of this paradox, Armine, that most people find "letting go" hard to understand let alone apply.

But anyway that was my point, and of course just my opinion. Thanks again and have a great day. (Also thanks to Lunar for her concern, and to Freya for her touches).

I think i understand what you're saying Lotus

ive noticed when i'm focused and concentrating on something, doesnt matter what it is, if its making me happy.. suddenly nothing else in the world seems to matter.. like when you're in 'The Zone' you're getting those wonderful happy or productive feelings and your mind isnt searching for anything else..... so yeah all those material or outside desires... just fade away..... now how to stop them coming back

Thank you Lotus. Ha! With the exes situation, even if the anxiety and tension releases because the ex has come back, indifference also often sets in because it could be that very feeling of burning desire that was appealing and yet when the object appeared, the passion for it dwindled away. Therefore, it is with the feeling of desire that the person was vibrationally aligned, and wasn't aligned with the manifestation of that result, as it didn't carry that same thrill as the feeling of desire.

Hope I made sense there. Of course, applicable to many cirvumstances, not just the ex... the house we dream of, then move in and realize it's too darn big to clean, the degree we earn, then afterwards realize there's still no job offers... of course depending on the person... they do not experience the joy if their desire because they are tied up to the burning desire feeling itself- and ouch, it can burn yet we still choose that over contention. Then there's burning desire that feels good and heats us up in a different-feeling way. Now I'm just blabbering.

Cool video I was watching today though:

Night Eyes wrote:I think i understand what you're saying Lotus

ive noticed when i'm focused and concentrating on something, doesnt matter what it is, if its making me happy.. suddenly nothing else in the world seems to matter.. like when you're in 'The Zone' you're getting those wonderful happy or productive feelings and your mind isnt searching for anything else..... so yeah all those material or outside desires... just fade away..... now how to stop them coming back

Beautiful, Night. You do understand, obviously. I wasn't even that ambitious and I didn't generalize it as you did. For example, if you're content and satisfied with say your financial status, chances are you won't desire more and even if you did it wouldn't be "burning." However, you may still desire something else in a different area (e.g. health, relationship, body-shape, etc.) This is all I meant really: in any given area if you could release all resistance and reach a state of true acceptance of "what is," desire would hardly arise in this area. Therefore "feeling good," a primary first step recommended by almost all teachers, itself puts an end to the desire or at least weakens it considerably. These teachers are correct though, and that's why it's a paradox. The irony is, having lost the desire, we fake it. We just "refuse" to be happy and continue living happily without the desire being fulfilled—even though it's no more.

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now how to stop them coming back?

You don't want to stop them coming back, Nighty.

To whom do they come back? Whose desires are they, first of all? They're not your desires—you have none at all. They're the person's you think you are. So they come back to that person; to [that woman from Wales whose name is so-and-so]. WHENEVER you feel happy, as described for example in your post, you so feel because you're in resonance with who you really are, even if unintentionally. We just happen to align and get back to our original, desireless and blissful state, and once there we do feel happy. In fact, according to one of the greatest thinkers and teachers of all time—Sankara, the founder of Advaita himself—when your desire is finally fulfilled you don't feel satisfied because of this fulfillment—as commonly understood. You don't feel happy because you've now achieved or obtained the object of your desire. Rather, you feel happy because your mind finally stops, rests, and remains still, however briefly, with no desire.

Desires therefore come back because that limited and separate "person" comes back. You "summon" her back, and there she comes along with her desires, thoughts, doubts, fears, memories, attachments....  You therefore, so long as identifying with this illusory person, don't really want to stop those desires coming back. You need them, because they announce you, affirm you, and manifest you. That's why we fake and revive them in case lost or dead. And just as we manifest our desires, so our desires manifest us: When I desire to have a car for example, I do because of all obvious reasons, but also because, subconsciously, this car is going to manifest the car-owner: Me. Thus follow all desires, all affirming and manifesting "Me." I thus become the car-owner, the house-owner, the business-owner, the famous-name-owner, the perfect-body-owner, the high-degree-holder, the pretty-woman-husband, the cool-kids-father, the great-book-writer, this forum-moderator, that post-sender...... I'm constantly affirming my illusory persona, ceaselessly adding more definitions and putting on more and more masks. Layers upon layers upon layers.

But what am I really seeking? What is it I so badly want and seem to never find? Just my Self; who I truly am. I call it Happiness, or Peace, or Love, or Abundance, or Freedom... But these are just my names and this is what I AM. We're all in feverish search for the Self, because this is home and we know it "in our bones." However, we search in all wrong places, outside in the world, while it's already and always here, right here, shining inside each and every one.

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The Simplifier wrote:Thank you Lotus. Ha! With the exes situation, even if the anxiety and tension releases because the ex has come back, indifference also often sets in because it could be that very feeling of burning desire that was appealing and yet when the object appeared, the passion for it dwindled away. Therefore, it is with the feeling of desire that the person was vibrationally aligned, and wasn't aligned with the manifestation of that result, as it didn't carry that same thrill as the feeling of desire.

Hope I made sense there. Of course, applicable to many cirvumstances, not just the ex... the house we dream of, then move in and realize it's too darn big to clean, the degree we earn, then afterwards realize there's still no job offers... of course depending on the person... they do not experience the joy if their desire because they are tied up to the burning desire feeling itself- and ouch, it can burn yet we still choose that over contention. Then there's burning desire that feels good and heats us up in a different-feeling way. Now I'm just blabbering.

Cool video I was watching today though:

Yes, very true, Armine. This is often the case indeed. This is rather the point with desire. The mind isn't concerned so much about the fulfillment of our desires as about the desiring itself—the wanting, seeking, and pursuing. So our passion will anyway dwindle, sooner or later, in order for a "new desire" to arise and take over. This game is not about "fulfilling" any desires or "achieving" any goals or really finding "happiness." Rather, it's all about keeping perpetually desiring something, forever outside running after something. We ALWAYS think we'll "arrive" someday; we'll finally "get there" someday and rejoice. Truth is, we NEVER do.

So I fully agree with your observations, of course. On the other hand, I hope it's clear that I'm NOT against desire, mild or burning—nor am I necessarily promoting the "Letting Go" system or approach. (In fact, I used to hate it. ) I was just clearing up the confusion concerning both "desire" and "action," I said there were two schools with two different premises and that both were valid, and I finally think I'm quite neutral in this presentation or explanation because I really belong to neither.

Nice video by the way; thank you, Armine.


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In the end I hope it's also clear that in the Letting-Go school, or process, it's okay even if " letting go" led to or was taken as "letting go of the desire itself." In Sedona Method for example, where all desires/wants are to be erased, we first trace all desires back to their origin—one, or more, of three basic needs: Approval, Security, and Control. Then the client receives a series of questions carefully designed as to put her mind in a state of Acceptance. This often works, but sometimes the client is really stubborn and her mind is almost consumed or obsessed with her desire. In this case we finally resort to a specific question very cleverly phrased especially for this situation. We literally ask her (if it's about "approval" for example): "Would you rather want approval, or would you rather get approval?"

See the point? In other words, wanting or desiring is one thing, getting or attaining is quite another. These two are by no means connected (unless you belong to the other school, of course), and this is the whole point here. The ONLY reason we don't attain or manifest, at least according to this method, is "Resistance." Period. Nothing else is required or important, not even action. That's why I wrote freely about "Desire" in this thread, fully aware that this is "politically incorrect" and that some may not like my words. But hopefully by now it's clear why I did. Because it's perfectly okay in this system if "letting go" led to or meant the sacrifice or disappearance of the desire itself altogether. It doesn't matter in either sense: as an "intent" connoting persistence, determination, or the exercise of willpower; or as a "want" suggesting several negative feelings that all schools with no exception rather deny. In this model or process, "losing" the desire, or "holding" to it, has nothing to do with the fulfillment or attaining of the object desired. It's even better not to desire it—paradoxical as it may sound.

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Lotus wrote:You don't feel happy because you've now achieved or obtained the object of your desire. Rather, you feel happy because your mind finally stops, rests, and remains still, however briefly, with no desire.

This this this!!!

So true Lotus so true!

This seems a good article: http://www.lifehack.org/articles/featured/11-practical-ways-to-stop-procrastination.html

Even HowStuffWorks have a feature on time management: http://lifestyle.howstuffworks.com/family/parenting/for-moms-and-dads/time-management-techniques3.htm

The HowStuffWorks article is one of the best things on procrastination I've seen on the net, as it actually goes into some of the reasons behind procrastination -- all three of the ones they list I have experienced/do experience, and they are indeed very off-putting. (They don't talk about anxiety procrastination, though -- that said, of course it's tied to perfectionism...)

Once, I used this before sleeping, and it worked the next day:



The day after that I tried it again but procrastinated more than ever afterwards, though; I think the reason is that I was in a bit of a mental funk because of things happening in my life.

I still love this thread and I'm glad it's in the Top 10 threads.

Freya, if it helped once, it will help much more with some consistency. The fact that it threw you off the second time is not unusual, because you're shifting that paradigm and when things move energetically by conscious effort, sometimes it looks like things are falling apart or going backwards, but that's when it's even more important to go back to the shifting (whatever you were doing- in this case, the video). This sends a clear message in the universe that you are choosing that new self concept, not choosing to go back to procrastination.

I'd be interested to hear what happens if you do this for a few days straight this time.

Thanks Armine. Part of me wonders if my own initial belief that it would work helped - the second time I was thinking of other things and not even concentrating on it much (though I know it should be subliminal anyway as you fall asleep)...

What I mean to say is, perhaps these things work if you think they will and don't if you think they won't...

...perhaps.

I wrote a follow-up post and it didn't go through and got lost... here's the jist of it...

I took a peek at that video and it is waaaay longer than needed in order to make this change. It looks like someone put a lot of work into it, but you don't need to listen to an hour of 300 affirmations daily in order to change this. I suggest you select one or two affirmations that resonate with the feeling of your end goal and repeat those to yourself for a couple minutes throughout the day. You don't have to sit through an entire video, and even if you listen for two hours, going back to regular "life" afterwards would just neutralize all that "programming".

I suggest that you repeat the phrases in your mind a few times throughout the day, incorporating them into your regular routine. Take the affirmation with you wherever you are (I don't mean on paper, I mean in your memory) and let it serve as simply a reminder here and there of your new state of being, which is one of eagerly attending to things as they come, with ease (or whatever specifically your new state of being is chosen to be). This is much more efficient, quick and FUN over listening to that video. Also, no, you don't have to believe the affirmation if it sounds too foreign to you at this point. Repeat it with no feeling at first if you prefer, and the emotion will eventually inevitably be evoked and that's really when you know you've shifted. Sit back and enjoy the show from that point on.

Btw, the video works bc you're giving it space in your mind so it's having influence, but you don't have to believe it will work in order for it to work. It's brainwashing you like you've been brainwashed until now by confirming or "affirming" that procrastination is a problem for you. All you're doing in any of these ways is suggesting that it is so nice to feel like doing things when the timing is good, and merging that with your self-concept.

Thanks for the wonderful response Armine! You've given me a lot to think about. I'll write back when I'm procrastinating less and I'd be curious to see if other people apply what you suggest too. I've never listened to the whole video btw lol, only half an hour until I'm drowsy enough to sleep, at which point I turn it off.

lunareclipse wrote:Since you all know that this is my major pitfall, I might as well start a thread where we can share ideas on how to overcome laziness and get stuff done

Well.. This requires getting back to the ground level basics.

It's a repeating pattern behind why people set goals and go nowhere. New Years Resolutions are prime examples. The society and culture has this weird thing where you are encouraged to place a "blame" on others. If you are involved in spiritual communities, the only thing changes is to target you blame. It shifts from others to yourself. But at the end of the day, you are still on the same frequency - blaming.

So what is important here is to "know what you want".

One of the quotes I read somewhere online was particularly mind expanding. "Personality is 1% who you really are and 99% the last movie you watched". LOL

We live in a world where others and media tells us what to think and what to feel. More often than not, we choose what we want based on these external stimuli.

So the key is to REALLY know what you want.

So how do you know? We "think" we want million things. But what we are really after is the "feeling" that we think we'll get by getting what we want.

So what we really want is the "feeling" not the product/person/position/event/blah blah blah.

Okay so we now have the "feeling" sorted out. Now what? Don't we have to do something? We sure do! That's a trick of the conscious/intellect. So once we know what feeling we want, we start going through the memories that are accessible to us in waking state (which are 0.00001%, that too if I'm being generous). We scan "to do items" based on our limited, restricted and inferior knowledge about the universe and conclude that the ONLY way to get that feeling is by doing/getting/making him/her fall in love with me. etc etc.

And we all know how that turns out.

We you want to pee, you just get up and get rolling! You don't sit there wondering about do I have motivation? Is it the right time? (may be is the case while farting, but that happens nonetheless )

The thing is when you're "clear" you happen to just "KNOW" what's the next steps. The universe/subconscious nudges you in that direction. Which is always the right path to take you to your desired feelings. So that throws the question of procrastination/laziness out of the window.

If you are unclear/uncertain about what you want (meaning, you are still attached to the "way it should come to you") and you don't know what feeling you're after, then you won't have energy coming to you from the divine and your intellect is gonna label that as "procrastination", "laziness" etc.

lunareclipse wrote:Or maybe Freya can share her secrets of how she can ace a PhD while nursing broken hearts at the forums and accomplish other million tasks while still full of energy after 3 hours of sleep! 

Hahaha!

Well, FreyaM - Would you agree that you don't have to "force" yourself to build these monumental walls of text. You just get up and get rolling. Do you think when you get a nudge to post, you worry about "procrastination". I think not!

Thank you Adi I think the feelings at the end of the rainbow for me are freedom and security.
Freedom to move to any point in the world, especially home of course and to be able to do anything I need or desire without feeling like I'm stuck or can't afford it.
And security also to know that if my kids or family at home should need something I can be there to help. Right now for example, my aunt's home needs a lot of repairs, but I can't do anything about it

When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.

Focus on being ready!

Adi wrote:The thing is when you're "clear" you happen to just "KNOW" what's the next steps. The universe/subconscious nudges you in that direction. Which is always the right path to take you to your desired feelings. So that throws the question of procrastination/laziness out of the window.

So in your view does this mean that if you are not "clear" then you won't "know" what the next steps are? That "clearness" is a prerequisite? Because many times people think they are clear but don't have that knowing, so it leads me to asking you to elaborate on what you mean by someone being "clear" - what does that entail in your opinion? What does it mean to be clear, in your opinion?