Mental Barriers

http://themindunleashed.org/2014/12/reboot-life-20-mental-barriers-let-go.html

Haha I saw this somewhere just yesterday and saved it in favorites

It's a pretty comprehensive list I wish the author said how to let go of all these things, though.

Perhaps sometimes it is as simple as making the decision, but....

Yesterday I opened my copy of Pema Chodron's Practicing Peace in Times of War at a random page and landed on the chapter on Patience. She says some wonderful things on letting go of anger.

“When you’re like a keg of dynamite about to go off, patience means just slowing down at that point — just pausing — instead of immediately acting on your usual, habitual response. You refrain from acting, you stop talking to yourself, and then you connect with the soft spot. But at the same time you are completely and totally honest with yourself about what you are feeling. You’re not suppressing anything; patience has nothing to do with suppression. In fact, it has everything to do with a gentle, honest relationship with yourself.”


http://www.lionsroar.com/the-answer-to-anger-aggression-is-patience/


How would you (any of you) go about letting go of some of the things on the list?

Which ones do you feel you need to let go of the most Freya?

I personally have a bit of an up and down thing with letting go of negative thinking, i've made some serious headway with it and i'm a lot less negative in my thought processes, but on the flip side, i have always been a silver lining kinda girl, so i am able to eventually see the positives in any situation and cut short the critical thinking.

I'm a lot less self critical about myself these days, a year or 2 ago i literally hated myself, i thought i was the worst person on the planet totally undeserving of anything nice or any form of affection of love... i still beat myself up from time to time, but i've learnt to acknowledge all the positive aspects about myself and recognise .. actually i'm not that bad, i have a lot of good qualities, no ones perfect we just be the best we can be, and i slowly lowered these massively high expectations of myself.

havent quite mastered the compulsive thinking, i still get stuck in thought loops and ruminations, but i know how to deal with them when they happen so all is not lost

letting go of the need for others approval.... thats a struggle, and i still fall into that trap... but i think you can tie that into the critical thinking, and stop looking outwardly for this approval.... and look inside and approve of yourself, it shouldnt matter what others think, if you're happy with yourself and who you are, then what others think is non of your business right?

anxious thoughts... well we all know i struggle there, but its a work in progress and compared to 10 years ago.. its a breeze haha

Letting go of useless things, i clocked this one a long time ago, but i'm not sure how i did it, it kinda came when i was going through a big rough patch in my life and starting afresh, the clutter just seemed to disappear with the misery.

anyways thats pretty much it for me the rest dont seem to be a problem in my world or something i've felt a need to address

Thanks for sharing, Night

Guilt- I'm currently allowing myself to let go of guilt associated with success. I had a partially hidden belief that being prosperous and successful isn't fair because those who aren't currently experiencing prosperity and success would resent my achievements and it wouldn't be fair. Yet, I also had felt guilt tied to not being prosperous and successful. So it's really a lose-lose when it comes to guilt.

Self criticism- I am letting myself release self-criticism by being more aware of my own thoughts and feelings about myself. I've decided to put sarcasm away (the "oh yeah because I'm so successful " attitude, or the "I'm the poor one in the family " jokes).

Need for others' approval- I'm letting go of this one by seeing that the seeking of approval of others is not worth the things we miss out on because of it. Not everyone is going to like what we have to say. I think that until now I thought that years ago, I received more approval- but it seems that in fact, I was only blind to the disapproval of some because I so enjoyed the approval of the ones who appreciated me. Yeah we shouldn't seek approval, but the fact is that whatever we do, there will be approval and disapproval. We can perceive whichever angle we choose.

Thank you for the useful, thought-provoking question, Freya

Thank you for sharing ladies. I can definitely relate. I am an optimist by nature, if you can call it that way. Always try to think in opportunities and solving problems. Even though life hasn't always been a party I always manage to get myself out of things for the better, but I also have my struggles.

I don't see this one on the list but I tend to worry, mostly about others. I worry if they are happy, if they get home safe, and if someone has a problem it can really get to me. If I can't sleep at night the night demons (that's how I call them haha) come and attack my mind. Things that seem not a problem by day causing me worries at night. It's so annoying! I can worry for hours if I did shut down the oven oh dear. But luckily only at night...

So yes I have anxiety sometimes. When it comes to sleeping I do. I panic at night... But then again during the day I am fine. See a pattern

I have many limiting beliefs about myself. I usually think that the things I do I don't do them good enough. Big barrier for job hunting I can tell u.  

I learned to deal with things such as guilt, it's useless as the article mentioned. There are many other things that go well as well. I think that just as long as you are aware of the things you have to deal with it will always work out for the better. We are Always moving forward even though it doesn't always feels that way.

Big hug!

For me looking at the list, it would be these I struggle with- 

-Guilt
-"I'll do it tomorrow" attitude
-Counterproductive habits
-Ticking clock 

and to be honest, they are all the same. I noticed just yesterday how annoyed I am with the fact that I spend all my days feeling guilt over procrastinating and my whole life is slipping past, me not even enjoying any of the moments, such as being with my children, because I am constantly guilting myself over "things I should be doing". 
I have a list of things I procrastinate with and it is evergrowing and always present in the back of my mind. Armine is right, this list will never get done because there will always be something I am procrastinating about.

Guilt is so useless though isnt it, nothing productive ever comes from beating ourselves up, it just pushes us lower and lower

i can find it very hard to get myself motivated, its like i know if i just get up and go and do what i'm meant to be doing, i'll be fine and happy and more than likely quite energised.... but sometimes i just need that push or nudge to get off my bottom

Procrastinating is something the most of us have taken up as a hobby What can I say, same here same here. I suffer from fast dying enthusiasm. I can go from manic to demotivated within a couple of days. But I don't fight it. I just try to go on the natural flow of life and if I procrastinate I just don't want it enough. But that is my thing I understand it can be different for others.

The first think I thought of when I read that list was FEAR.

Even tho fear isn't specifically on the list, many of the things listed can be boiled down to fear.

I have to admit that I've mostly been a "play it safe" and risk averse person.  Too often I've let fear prevent me from taking chances.  I overthink the potential for a negative outcome without giving equal weight to the possibility of an equally positive outcome.  I relate to what you are saying, lunar.  Sometimes I feel like that keeps me from really living.  I feel like sometimes I've let a lot of life pass me by because I was afraid of the risk.  

I really don't want to be an old woman some day looking back at all of the living I missed out on so I made a vow to be more adventurous.  

Sorry to anyone who doesn't like the language but I thought of this scene from Risky Business:




I am proud to say that I recently dove into a situation that even up until very recently I would have backed away from.  It's too soon to tell if the whole thing will end up blowing up in my face but even if that happens at least I will be able to look back on it as an exciting and interesting experience!