"Attachment" and "Letting Go"

Armine u are so sweet thank you so much, I really appreciate it. . But I am really over my ex. There is a new one in my life and I think he is fantastic! He is even more than I expected. It's just when I come to these forums and I read the getting the ex back forums I get reminded .... Oh right I have an ex and he never came back when I think of it. It's more the process behind it that I would like to understand, because when you failed to manifest something, you can learn from it. The other point I am trying to make is, there is absolutely no resistance/ negativity towards my ex. I see him every week, I hope he will be happy, I moved on a long time ago,.... And so did he apparently! So moving on and the exes come back, well that isn't always the case...

Lol, Sunshine, it sounds like you are asking "Why didn't I get this guy I don't want?"

Lol kazoo

Well, I wish I could get the guy I don't want...

Sunshine, you manifested the new relationship because the old one was not the best possible one for you at the time- this one was. Had you not done anything with your vibration and worked on all this "loa stuff" you would either be with the ex and still not completely experiencing all you truly deserve, or you would be with someone completely reflective of your frustration, or single. So no, you didn't "get your ex back". But all that you put towards that was actually being put towards what you have now. There is no failure in life, and no waste.

That's right. I thought that he didn't come back because he doesn't match my vibration of happiness. Yes this is totally acceptable for me ☺️

I’ve never quite understood attachment or letting go. I first read about LoA from Napoleon Hill and Neville Goddard and never saw anything about attachment or letting go. Sometimes, I do wonder if these concepts have been loaded with spiritualism to explain away why some things don’t manifest. But my in point of view, these concepts can still be useful in the subconscious mind model.

I’ve always wondered why is it that some people who work the least are very successful.  Why did I study till 3AM and get a B- and my friend next to me barely opened the book for an hour but gets an A? Subconscious beliefs? Vibrations? State of mind? Luck? What’s the secret?

After years of studying over and over again, even imagining my success, it just didn’t work out. I was very stressed and I felt numb from overwork. Maybe I was too attached to the outcome? Maybe my emotional state was off and it attracted bad outcomes?

This year, I did get most of the successes I wanted but to my amazement, this year was different because I had a good balance between fun and work. And the work was much more enjoyable because I got to make better use of my talents and team up with great people. At moments of pressure, I would just go play video games for two hours and my work would improve. Before, I would try to sit there for hours to find the perfect solution and it just didn’t work out.

Looking back, I think in my “failure days” I wasn’t working with a full deck, or the deck I had wasn’t a good hand (in other words, my subconscious beliefs weren’t serving me) . It seemed like LoA was failing me, I kept imagining what I wanted, thought of it all the time, worked for it really hard into the night, but it still wasn’t good enough. Nowadays, I just imagine what I want, do the work that I can do, relax, have fun and focus on something else, and then come back to it with renewed energy. And it really works out well most of the time. It’s like my subconscious mind is really working for me now.

So to me “attachment” is not letting your subconscious work for you. Another idea is that you can ask yourself to what are you attached to? Fear or love? Where are you on the emotional guidance scale? That can be a good indicator of where you’re headed. But then again, isn’t your subconscious mind always working for you? What determines if a conscious idea becomes subconscious and manifests? Zero resistance in the conscious mind? Consciously, you’re struggling to find the solution, even though you kept repeating the mental image and emotion of the end goal. “Let go” in my book is to just focus on something else, have fun, do something passionate and exciting that makes you feel great, enjoy life instead of thinking in the mud, or go ahead and moan if you like that too. But I like to call it “relax” because some people will throw a fit if you tell them to “let go”. It seems like you gave up but not really. This lets your subconscious mind work on it and the solution comes to you through intuition and a flow of ideas. Maybe in the Nightly Method, sleep is the “letting go” state. Usually when I do this, just “relax”, the manifestation will happen the next day, maybe a month from now, sometimes in three months, I think it all depends on the conditions I put in my mental image. And when I visualize, eventually I’ll reach a point where it feels real and I’ve had enough of visualizing. Then I focus on “life”, relax, and somehow it all comes to me.

But this still doesn’t explain why I wasn’t able to bring a specific person back into my life and yet I was able to bring others in just by visualizing. But I remember constantly putting lots of negative emotions into my visualization, especially the disappointment that we may never meet again, so maybe I created the condition that the specific person wouldn’t come back? Plus, even though I liked her, every time I thought of her a part of me said “maybe I’ll meet someone better” and that manifested. Or maybe being with her wasn’t a match to my state of mind and emotions? Right now, I’m over her so it doesn’t matter. On the other hand, I visualized more favorably other people coming into my life and that worked out pretty well.

Thanks PR. I think we can endlessly ponder why we manifested some things the way we did and not others. And as you say when our subconscious is involved we may never figure it out but I can understand wanting to figure out what works and what doesn't so we can then apply that to our goals.

But there's something to remember. We are CONSTANTLY manifesting. LoA is CONSTANTLY working. We've manifested EVERYTHING in our life, not just the things we've intentionally focused on. Now think back about the good stuff that has happened in your life. Did you consciously do anything specific, as far as a LoA "method" to make it happen? No, of course not. Most of us have only been aware of LoA for a small portion of our lives. (Of course there may be exceptions...but I'm speaking generally...)

When you had a fun vacation or a memorable birthday in the past did you use all kinds of techniques to make it happen? Maybe you naturally daydreamed a little or were excited about it when you drifted off to sleep but for the most part you were just living your life and cool stuff happened. Any "method" was applied unintentionally, unknowingly, subconsciously and naturally. That's why I don't like this emphasis on "methods" and "techniques" because they really aren't needed. If you had an amazing meal this morning, did you apply some technique to get it? If you found an interesting book or watched a cool movie, did you get it because of some "method"? Probably not. You were just living your life and didn't really even think of those things as "manifestations."

I know there may be some stories you have that say, yes, you did apply some technique but honestly most everything we manifest, as in all of the mundane daily stuff we don't even notice much, is being brought to us by our subconscious and not from method or technique. So why should the big, important stuff we really want require some method or technique? It doesn't.

When we focus on something we want, and think we need a "method" to get it, where is the emphasis there? Is it REALLY on what we want, or is the real focus on the "method" itself? How many people are thinking "I have to do this method to get that thing I want." Well, where is the emphasis there? On what you want or on the fact that you lack what you want and you have to do some technique to get it? Just some questions to ask yourself when wondering why some method or technique didn't work.

I've said it before and I'll say it again. I have had the most success when I really just focused on my general happiness and well being. I did spend a lot of time working on "letting go" of old baggage I was carrying around. But I didn't do that with a specific goal in mind other than knowing that carrying around that excess baggage doesn't make you happy and I wanted to be happy.

Thats a really good point Kazoo, i find life is a lot easier and stress free when i just focus on being happy rather than manifesting certain things, i also find those things dont matter as much either when i'm just happy and carefree.

I firmly believe that happiness manifests miracles. That was how I met <>, the greatest miracle of my life--I was unconditionally, ecstastically happy, and there he was...it was just a natural continuation.....

As for attachment, I wanted to share a story...  

***

Releasing the Cows
(Told by Master Thich Nhat Hanh)

One day the Buddha was sitting in the wood with thirty or forty monks. They had an excellent lunch and they were enjoying the company of each other. There was a farmer passing by and the farmer was very unhappy. He asked the Buddha and the monks whether they had seen his cows passing by. The Buddha said they had not seen any cows passing by.

The farmer said, "Monks, I'm so unhappy. I have twelve cows and I don't know why they all ran away. I have also a few acres of a sesame seed plantation and the insects have eaten up everything. I suffer so much I think I am going to kill myself.

The Buddha said, "My friend, we have not seen any cows passing by here. You might like to look for them in the other direction."

So the farmer thanked him and ran away, and the Buddha turned to his monks and said, "My dear friends, you are the happiest people in the world. You don't have any cows to lose. If you have too many cows to take care of, you will be very busy.

"That is why, in order to be happy, you have to learn the art of cow releasing (laughter). You release the cows one by one. In the beginning you thought that those cows were essential to your happiness, and you tried to get more and more cows. But now you realize that cows are not really conditions for your happiness; they constitute an obstacle for your happiness. That is why you are determined to release your cows."

Yes, the OVERWHELMING majority of what we manifest is a result of our overall vibration, not because we applied some specific technique.

Think about it. If I got a flat tire on my way to work was it because I fell asleep night after night thinking about flat tires? No, of course not. Who does that? If I got a new sweater, was it because I wrote in my journal about sweaters for days and days? That would be silly to do if the path of least resistance was to just go to the store and buy a sweater. I think you get my point.

So if the overwhelming majority of what we manifest is not a result of a technique or method, why do we think we have to take that approach to the things we really want?

I've always said that if the methods or techniques make you happy and you enjoy doing them, then great, carry on. But you can get all kinds of awesome stuff, including the big stuff, if you just work on improving your overall vibration. And you can improve your overall vibration by letting go of the garbage, knowing your worth and all of that other stuff that gets advocated but is readily dismissed by some.

I never intentionally do any techniques. I mean of course I daydream sometimes and my mind does naturally wander when I'm drifting off to sleep and if I notice that my thoughts aren't pleasant I do try to redirect them but I don't think to myself that I have to intentionally do these practices or block out specific time to visualize or anything like that.

If I meditate it's mostly just to feel better in general and calm my mind. Not with the intention of getting something specific.

Anyway, that's what has worked for me. I actually have friends who are not knowingly into LoA but have kind of adopted that same mindset -that happiness comes first and then the stuff that enhances your happiness naturally follows- and they have managed to come from pretty dark places to really amazing lives.

kazoo wrote:the path of least resistance

*claps hands* This is also an incredibly important point. It reminds me of all my reading on Taoism....

And when you try too hard, it doesn’t work. Try grabbing something quickly and precisely with a tensed-up arm; then relax and try it again. Try doing something with a tense mind. The surest way to become Tense, Awkward and Confused is to develop a mind that tries too hard – one that thinks too much. The animals in the Forest don’t think too much; they just Are. But with an overwhelming number of people, to misquote an old Western philosopher, it’s a case of “I think, therefore I am confused.” If you compare the City with the Forest, you may begin to wonder why it’s man who goes around classifying himself as The Superior Animal.

- Benjamin Hoff, The Tao of Pooh



To have faith is to trust yourself to the water. When you swim you don't grab hold of the water, because if you do you will sink and drown. Instead you relax, and float.

- Alan Watts

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kazoo wrote:I'm gonna get a little personal again.  Let's look at Superman's game.  It was designed to be a fun way to focus positively on what you want for 30 days.  Sounds good from a LoA perspective, right?

But the success rate wasn't all that great, was it?  That's not a slam on him, I applaud his willingness to come up with new ideas and his ability to inspire.  The problem was that the vast majority of the participants simply were not in the right mindset to focus on what they want consistently.  The rules were pretty simple, and I don't think he ever discusses anything about letting go or attachments either.  So where did he go wrong and what would you advise the folks who gave it their best effort, tried their hardest to focus positively on what they wanted and STILL ended up coming up short?  Those people are really not the exception.  They make up most of the people who go to that forum.

I haven't shared this on PLOA forum but supermans game actually worked for me. Not within in the 30 days but the start point was great. It was a reminder for me that everything I do I should be doing out of a state of joy. All actions out of joy, not fear or any other feeling. If I would have a "weak" moment I didn't think about what I wanted, I only thought about how do I get into a state of joy again, how do I feel a bit better. My intention was NOT to get an ex back nor a specific person even though there was someone I liked, it was just to attract love. I used the feelings of liking that person to get into the vibration of love. Nothing more. I used that game to get into the right mindset. The difference might have been that I wasn't in a state of desperation or anything when I started that game, I just wanted to expand my feelings of happiness. Never have I thought about things like letting go or attachment, anyways to cut my story short, I have met this amazing person :-)

That's great Sunshine!

I think the idea of the game was great. He tried to put the emphasis on having fun with it rather than stressing out about results, which I think was great.

But unfortunately most people who tried it were too attached to make it work. The fact that you weren't looking to attract a specific person probably helped with your success. It's usually when a specific person is involved that the attachment is really strong.

The reason I liked superman's game was that it was a "side-road" into detachment... a "short cut" (sort of like my "don't think about it" method, if anyone knows what I'm even talking about ) So, it gave some people a taste of what detachment is like.

"True detachment" is not necessarily being a secluded monk. It can be a feeling of invincibility. It can result in joy and real happiness in the moment. It ALLOWS for your manifestation to come to you MUCH MORE EASILY and QUICKLY. That's why we are all talking about it on these forums now.

To have success with an intention, all we have to do is allow it. Visualizing can absolutely invite the vibration in and can create great momentum. Yet, all we have to be, is vibrationally "matched up" with it.

Anything (yes, anything) that puts you in an allowing vibration of the intention... it will literally PULL your intention to you, like gravity, immediately, while you are not even consciously aware of it happening. You could be playing a computer game, laughing your ass off, feeling blissful and "whole", and all the sudden you get phone call from someone telling you that your 'totally unrelated manifestation' is here. The manifestation... it's just "normal", and feels great, like you have been feeling and like you should feel when you get the manifestation.


So... superman's approach turned out nicely, I think. It placed importance on enjoying your life, rather than just thinking positive thoughts about another person.

i can relate to it feeling normal, when i've had certain manifestations, its just came so naturally and normally like it was nothing, and just meant to happen, no bells or whistles.

Night Eyes wrote:i can relate to it feeling normal, when i've had certain manifestations, its just came so naturally and normally like it was nothing, and just meant to happen, no bells or whistles.

Yes, exaclty. It's funny how nonchalantly these things can wander in. Many times it can look differently than we expected, too, as in LittleMissSunshine's case.

It's great. The non-attachment is great. It's very liberating and... rather healthy, too, to have a healthy variety of thoughts and to not be fixated too much. Although, I believe there is such a thing as a "healthy obsession".

If we have an intention for the deliberate creation of something, the LoA will do the work of wiggling it in our direction. Albert Einstein, I believe, said he received many brilliant ideas while shaving. There is something important to be said about leaving room (time) for the universe to work. One way of doing that, for sure, is being attentive to other things in alignment with source.

The words dont really matter..

Holding on to any desire with negative emotions will make it difficult to manifest.. You can call is negative attachment.. Holding on to a desire with positive expectations will speed up the process.. you can call that positive attachment.

Letting go with a belief that things are going to manifest and you need not worry about it will cause the manifestation.

Letting go with a belief that things will never manifest will not lead to manifestation you are looking for..

Good to see you here satty!

I think you boiled it down to the basics really nicely.