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The Scariest Thing of All

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The Scariest Thing of All

Post by Freya on Thu Feb 18, 2016 4:01 am

Once upon a time I walked into a bookstore and this book jumped out at me -- a children's book (yes, I just happened to walk into the children's section) --

called The Scariest Thing of All.



It's by Debi Gliori.

And it's about a bunny called Pip.





Pip is scared of just about everything...

He goes on an adventure into a deep dark forest and everything is frightening to him, his list of scary things is getting longer and longer...

Most of all, he's scared of a horrible sound.
RARRRR! RARRR!!

Until, that is.
He approaches the monster making it...




...and he realises...


It isn't a monster at all.

The sound that had been haunting him the whole time...

...was his tummy rumbling.

So he realises that all his fears - the things that had been frightening him - they were in fact all HIM.
HE was what he was scared of. His own mind was the scariest thing of all. Not anything else.

Everything was just in his imagination.
The scariness of things was just in his head.

So he goes skipping around looking at "goblins" and "monsters" which are really just funnily shaped trees and brambles and telling them,

YOU'RE not scary.
I'M scary.




What a clever children's story.
I love you


I think, like Pip, we often forget that our fears are only thoughts, and in our own heads. The things in themselves are not scary - thinking makes them so. I made most of this post a while back, and I remembered it recently -- I thought it's a good reminder for all of us that any phobias or anxieties that we may have are just us - our own mental projections.

I thought it was, like birthdays, important enough to break my break from posting... Wink

What are some things on your "Scary" List? How do you deal with your fears? Smiley

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Re: The Scariest Thing of All

Post by lunareclipse on Thu Feb 18, 2016 7:26 am

Great post Freya and what a beautiful story Smiley

Yes, to think for a second what would we do if we didn't have any fears?

No driving phobia- think of the freedom I'd have, more job opportunities, more places to go and take kids to, more people to meet, confidence, peace of mind...

No fear of failure, no social anxiety, no fear of success and too much responsibility, no fear of getting hurt or not being good enough... 

I personally deal with it by ignoring it and avoiding the situations that make me feel the fear... la-la-la... ignorance is bliss  Smile

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Re: The Scariest Thing of All

Post by Night Eyes on Thu Feb 18, 2016 10:16 am

If had no fears

i would be driving, i'd be confident, i'd be living life to the full

fear really does hold us back and it stops us from doing things we love, or from taking that risk that we need to be taking

it just puts us in a place where we deprive ourselves and isolate ourselves because we're too scared to take that leap into the unknown

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Re: The Scariest Thing of All

Post by Freya on Thu Feb 18, 2016 7:51 pm

I actually tend to just do the thing I'm scared of anyway.... unless the fear is that by doing it, somehow I will ruin a situation and make things worse.

But fear is sometimes there for a reason -- once I acted despite the fear and was so brave I freaked someone out Razz I was a little *too* brave...

I was inspired to add an old post by ILoveRainbows on fear, I think she wouldn't mind me posting it here, she was always a very giving person and I'm definitely giving her the credit for it...


==================================

Fear is not bad...
Fear is based on a belief system which is out of alignment with your true self.
If you delve into the fear, you can use it for what it is there for, and learn more about your wonderful self in the process.
You can be afraid and still do anything,
But the problem happens when you become AFRAID...of being afraid. So thank the fear and use it...it's part of you, after all. Once it's been used for what it's there for, it won't stick around.

Also, the more fearful you are, the more positive the 'spring back' will be. The same way of saying, the worse you feel, the better whatever you've put into your vortex is. So chill...it's all OK. You're not lost, you're just going through some stuff. The stuff you're going through is all OK, even if you're experiencing it negatively at this time. It's giving you a chance to get to know more of yourself. Remember...what's out there...is just always always a part of you. And you are wonderful! So there's actually nothing to fear Smiley

I suggest that you relax and explore the fear in some way your belief system will allow you to. Maybe with a close friend or two...you could invite some over and do an improvisation together on fear. Get them to play out with you, in a playful way, what happened...but change some of the details so you feel OK with it. So maybe play out the same themes but in a different setting, and explore things like...stopping the scene and having a conversation, and treating the actors like 'parts of yourself'. Or giving yourself super powers in the scene and turning the 'bad guy' into a bunch of bananas...

Remember this???



Get playful. Even if you can't have friends over, laugh at something...something silly. Like some Monty Python would do you good. You say something illegal happened to you?

How about this:



I'm not being flippant with your fears, by the way, I know they're real. But being playful and having a laugh can seriously give you back some of your sense of power and also loosen up your vibration into a higher state. You can't be playful and fearful at the same time...they're too different vibrations. The more playful you become, the less fearful you will be. The more you giggle, the more you'll feel the light, love and laughter coming back into your limbs!

And next time you do go outside, imagine something funny. Like peoples' pants falling down...

Something which makes you giggle to yourself!

Comedy! Friends! Games! In a way which lets you still feel safe and explore your fear and use it for what it's there for. It's aaaaaall good. HUGS!

Bashar on Fear:



I love you

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Re: The Scariest Thing of All

Post by lunareclipse on Sat Feb 20, 2016 5:35 am

I like her, she always quotes Bashar too Very Happy

How about negative visualizing, does that ever happen to you? Like you would  be thinking about some event coming up and suddenly your brain plays out a negative scenario about it, sometimes involving all sorts of obstacles or confrontation, so you start justifying yourself in your mind even though it hasn't even happened in reality lol.

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Re: The Scariest Thing of All

Post by Freya on Sat Feb 20, 2016 6:03 am

Oh yes I do that negative visualising all the time (worrier by nature Very Happy ).... luckily most of those scenarios never happen, though it does take peace away from me and sometimes cause so much stress I end up sick.

I'm going to work on training my thoughts to be positive and optimistic (or sometimes defensive pessimistic rather than depressed pessimistic)...

-- Defensive pessimism actually comes in handy and can allow people to outperform even optimists, according to at least one study:

“Before long, I began to realize that they were doing so well because of their pessimism… negative thinking transformed anxiety into action,” says Dr. Norem, a Psychology professor at Wellesley College. For example, when throwing darts in the study, participants who were considered defensive pessimists were 30% more accurate after having pictured negative outcomes."

From this article (The Productivity Paradox)

See also: The Positive Power of Negative Thinking

Why visualising our goals as already achieved can backfire:
The Power of Negative Thinking (99u)


So sometimes negative thinking can be useful, but it needs to be directed carefully, and you have to be careful not to sink into depressive pessimism (where you believe there's no point in doing anything).... which I suppose (I haven't done much reading on this) is roughly equivalent to learned helplessness, which I believe Armine has always been trying to fight. Smiley

http://www.newyorker.com/science/maria-konnikova/theory-psychology-justified-torture

http://www.undoingdepression.com/about-depression/quick-tips/pessimistic-thinking/

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Re: The Scariest Thing of All

Post by lunareclipse on Sun Feb 21, 2016 10:20 pm

I agree that thinking of some possible obstacles and preparing for them can be useful, especially if it's something like making a phone call to bank, going to apply for some official license and so on, but I find that many times my mind runs amok with them and starts imagining some completely unrealistic or improbable scenarios. 

For example once when I was in Hyde park, I was enjoying the early spring sunshine and sat down on a lonely bench. Suddenly I found myself imagining somebody sneaking up from behind me and hitting me in the head with an ax- wth?!  Mad afraid

You can also learn a lot about your belief systems from the images you get. For example I had a friend whose mind always played out scenarios where somebody called him a "piece of shit" and him attacking the person in fury or cussing them out. And the images were completely random situations. Say he'd be in a supermarket and start imagining the old lady at the cash register started judging him for something and he found his mind in rage after that. 
Or once he found an expensive watch on the street, picked it up and kept having images of the owner finding him and calling him a POS for stealing it, even though he didn't. 

I believe they are meant to be some sort of a survival system for preparing yourself for possible dangers but most of the time these images not only end up being way over the top and never happen, but also actually change your mood and thus your state of being. 

Since they usually never happen, you can develop a belief that you MUST imagine all the negative stuff in order for the good outcome to happen or if you imagine the positive scenario then you'll jinx italien
That of course is only fueled by the belief that this is the way it works and can become quite obsessive. I almost fell into this trap when I was a child and developed an OCD that I must think of every possible horrible thing that might happen and knock on wood for each one as if to guarantee they won't happen.

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